Loss. A word heavy with finality, etching a jagged line across our lives, leaving behind a void that echoes in the silence. Grief, the raw and potent response to this void, is often seen as an unwelcome guest, a burden we must bear alone. But what if we reframed grief not as a weakness, but as a powerful force, a transformative tide carrying us towards healing and growth?
While grief is often associated with the death of a loved one, there are other losses that can cause grief, including loss of work, loss of health, divorce, the end of a friendship, miscarriage or the death of a pet, among many others.
Grief’s power lies in its multifaceted nature. It’s a tidal wave of emotions – sorrow, anger, guilt, confusion, longing – each washing over us at unpredictable intervals. We may feel as though we are drowning in despair one moment, and then find ourselves laughing at a shared memory the next. This emotional rollercoaster isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s the symphony of a heart coming to terms with loss.
According to Psychotherapist Samantha Molineux from Raindrum, grieving is an essential part of the healing process. “Allowing ourselves to grieve,” she says, “we acknowledge our loss and permit ourselves to feel the fullness of all our held emotions.”
Grief isn’t just emotional. It’s physical too, manifesting in fatigue, insomnia, changes in appetite, and even aches and pains. Our bodies, deeply attuned to the rhythm of connection, register the loss viscerally. Ignoring these physical manifestations only prolongs the healing process.
Grief vs Grieving
Anyone who has experienced profound loss will know that feelings of grief never go away and are never far from the surface. A woman who lost her husband years before, for example, will experience that grief on her daughter’s birthday each year in response to the feelings of loss.
Grieving encompasses the process through which we learn to accept grief and adapt to life on new terms, without our loved one, or after a life-changing event. Grieving gives us much-needed time to learn to negotiate a world altered by loss.
“Grieving allows us to honour the depth of our emotions and navigate through the complex terrain of loss,” according to Samantha. “Often, each new loss evokes all of the previous losses; therefore, addressing these emotions is essential to the healing process.”
The power of grief comes into its own through the actions of acknowledgement, expression, remembering, social connection and self-care.
Acknowledgement: Acknowledge the reality of loss and accept grief as a normal and necessary response. Don’t fight it, shame it, or try to rush through it. Acknowledge its presence, validate your emotions, and be kind to yourself.
Expression: Find healthy ways to express your grief – talking to a friend, therapist, or support group, journaling, creating art, or engaging in activities that bring you solace.
Memory: Don’t shy away from memories, even the painful ones. Memories are the threads that connect you to your loved ones and the telling of them can help you rewrite your life-story. Let them surface, honour them, and celebrate the life that was.
Support: Grief often drives us to connect with others, to seek out those with whom we can talk about our loss. “Reaching out for support can be essential for us to receive care, compassion, understanding, and a sense of connection during times of profound loss,” says Samantha. Join a grief group, talk to a therapist, or lean on trusted friends and family. You don’t have to navigate this journey alone.
Self-care: Prioritise your physical and mental well-being. “Self-care can be simple practices, such as sleep, food, walking and sunshine,” notes Samantha. “These small acts of self-compassion can serve as an anchor amidst our grief, offering us moments of solace and replenishment,” she says.
Finding Meaning After Loss
Loss can leave us questioning our sense of purpose, shatter the future we envisioned for ourselves, and shake our sense of identity. Yet, grief’s power lies not in breaking us, but in transforming us. It allows us to honour the past, integrate the loss into our present, and emerge stronger, more resilient, with a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us.
Consider the story of Arunima Sinha, a mountaineer who lost her leg in a train accident at the age of 18. Instead of letting despair consume her, she set her sights on the seemingly impossible: scaling Mount Everest. Fuelled by the trauma of her accident, she embarked on a gruelling journey, becoming the first woman amputee to conquer the world’s highest peak. Her loss became a springboard to resilience, pushing her to redefine limitations and inspire countless others.
Remember, grief isn’t linear. There will be good days and bad days, setbacks and progress. Be patient with yourself, and trust that the process, albeit arduous, will eventually lead you to a place of acceptance and peace. Grief, when navigated with awareness and compassion, becomes the bridge that connects the love you’ve lost to the life you continue to build.
While these words can only offer a glimpse into grief’s multifaceted nature, remember, your journey is unique. Seek professional help if needed, and above all, be kind to yourself. Let grief lead you not to a dead end, but to a renewed beginning.
Help for Unhealed Grief
Denying, suppressing, or minimising grief comes at a steep cost. Bottled-up emotions can turn toxic, eroding our mental and physical health. Unhealed grief often spills into other areas of life, impacting relationships, careers, and even physical well-being, particularly where unhealthy coping mechanisms develop as a way of disassociating from the feelings of grief, such as binge drinking, misusing medications or taking illicit drugs. It’s like carrying around a heavy, unacknowledged wound – a burden that hinders our ability to move forward.
If you or someone you love is suffering from unhealed grief, Raindrum offers bespoke treatment programs and mental health retreats that combine proven clinical solutions with experiential and allied health therapies to accelerate healing. For more information or to start a conversation with us, contact us here or call us on 1300 007 607 today.
Please note we are not a free national or government owned mental health service, crisis phone or support line. We provide luxury, private rehabilitation and programs for mental health, addiction and sports performance for high pressure roles such as business executives, CEO’s, elite athletes, as well as public figures and high net worth individuals.
Need urgent help? If you of someone you love needs help urgently, talk to someone you trust, seek professional help or call one of the following helplines:
Lifeline Australia 13 11 14
Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636
Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467
Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800
